Blaming My Disability

What I’ve found as my life has gone on and I have grown is that I used to feel extremely limited, yes.  However, I no longer imagine this sense of limitation was caused by my disability, but rather by my habits and personal practices….or lack thereof.  

Now I would never say my disability hasn’t been challenging.  It has.  In the grand scheme of things, it would have been easier to speak normally and not catch so many basketballs with my face.

So how is it that I’ve come to believe that my disability has been challenging, but not inherently limiting?

Because I’ve come to believe that a challenge is not inherently limiting if one is willing to take it on and do their imperfect best to figure out a way to either move through it or make it into an opportunity.

Only if one leaves the challenge unchallenged, can it become severely limiting.

When I was younger, this was an extremely confusing situation since I was blind to the many ways I could change.  I was simply so laser focused on blaming my struggles on my disability.

In other words, the blame game blinded me to the big game I could actually create with my life.  I became so blind I didn’t feel I had the freedom to choose to change, and I definitely didn’t feel I had the freedom to turn challenges into opportunities.  By blinding myself to all I could change to enhance my life, I didn’t have to put myself in the position to take responsibility for making changes.  I could stay as I knew myself to be, which felt safe, even if who I knew myself to be often felt miserable.  

You see I did indeed have a strategy, even if the strategy was very self-defeating.

I now speak to audience after audience and host podcast after podcast with the very same voice I used to blame for not permitting me to live my dreams.  The interactions between my audiences and I have created opportunities where there once was only an excruciatingly painful limitation.  

There’re so many huge challenges in life and they can seem absolutely insurmountable.  These challenges can be intensely painful.  They can fill us with fear, sadness, anger, rage. 

I feel so incredibly lucky to now use my speech impediment as a gift.  I don’t understand completely how I got here by any stretch of the imagination.  I do know that I’ve had a vast amount of help and I’m very grateful for that.

I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes a way through a seemingly impossible challenge simply can’t be found, no matter how hard we try.

BUT sometimes it can.

And may this hope be enough for humanity to move forward as we face so many seemingly impossible challenges today and in the years to come.

YES, sometimes a way through CAN BE FOUND.

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